Monday, January 27, 2003
ok... so Shay is here, but not really here if that makes sense. I think I've passed that point where I want to be pursued and have arrived at the point where I just want to get something over with... find out what's going through his head. But I don't think it'll be tonight, because as it stands now, neither one of us is ready to talk about it.
Madaroni 6:24 PM
Monday, January 20, 2003
You went away this weekend. I miss you, but I cannot do this anymore. I feel like we haven't gotten any farther than the night I slept over and we talked. I need to know if you are interested in me and where we can go... if I don't feel this response and desire in you, then I must cut you loose and move on... it's just too hard, and it's not fair to me, you know?
Madaroni 1:02 AM
Wednesday, January 08, 2003
Haven't seen him yet this year. Makes me kinda nervous though. I don't really feel the same way about him anymore. I guess I had somewhat of an epiphany and realized that the reason we don't hang out if I don't call him or cajole him into doing something with me is because it's likely I'm not truly in his social circle. That's it. Period. I'm okay with that now, but for a long time, I was wishing he'd call or email.... half the time he doesn't even bother to respond to emails I send him anyway so what's the point. Maybe when he gets lonely enough he'll come around, but I don't want to be the "slim pickings".
I am not chopped liver!
Madaroni 4:42 PM
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